Immovable: A Discourse on the Three Great Constants of Life

Each passing day, we hear stories of men and women who took their lives or hurt themselves in some horrible ways, because of some unexpected betrayal, rejection, or grievous loss. Many people have ended their glorious lives because some other person’s life had come to an end; and many others have lost their minds because of some material loss. Recently, a story went round the internet about a certain young man who jumped into the sea and perished because he had caught his lover in bed with another man. Many stars and public figures have taken their lives in very miserable ways because of some failure they labelled colossal and final. Many young people have fallen into the pit of depression for reasons that, when weighed objectively, carry no real weight. Can we justify these voluntary sufferings as appropriate or even worth the effort? Should we hit our heads against the wall and suffer every time things go wrong in life?

The real problem in life, if you look properly, is not the problem we think we have, but our perception of the problem. Most of our sufferings are self-induced. Instead of breaking and degenerating every time we face betrayals or rejections, we should take out time and learn how to live above the storm. For storms will surely come. We are on an important assignment: we have ultimate purposes to fulfil before we pass away. And we can’t afford to fall apart every now and then. Maybe, sometimes, all we need is to give ourselves a break, and let time pass—then we will recognize the true weight of our “problems.” Maybe, if we let a little time pass, that betrayal, that infidelity, that great loss, will sink into the status of nothingness. 

We have the bad habit of making mountains out of molehills. And, believe me, we are surrounded by countless molehills. Everything that comes and goes, everything that has no real permanence, is a molehill. Everything that is not bound to last forever is ephemeral, and therefore of little consequence to our existence. They are important, but not extremely so. The first step, therefore, into the mastery of our diverse emotions, is to acknowledge and embrace the ephemerality of things.

The fact that nothing lasts forever—though partly true—should sink deeper into our souls, as we go about the business of life. Friendship doesn’t last forever—friends come and friends go. Children and parents come and go. Spouses and lovers are not eternal: they leave, one way or the other. Fame comes and fades; the same can be said about wealth, and beauty, and most of the things we treat as permanent and eternal. The point is this: until we learn to acknowledge that which is temporary as temporary and relate with those things with a certain depth of detachment, we will keep suffering and desiring to die every time things go “wrong” in life.  The moment we begin to cleave to things and people and ideas as if they would last forever, we open ourselves up for pain and suffering; for sooner or later, that which is destined to go will go.

Many things in life are ephemeral and not worthy of deep trust and attachments. However, other things are permanent, even eternal, and therefore worthy of our full attention. In the journey of life, I’ve discovered only three constants in the life of a man. I had hoped to discover more, but every other thing, no matter how noble or great on the surface, remains profoundly temporary. With proper understanding of these three great constants of life, it is my belief that we can always rise above the vicissitudes of temporary things, we can draw strength to confront the continual storms and trials of life, we can always remain above par, strong and radiant, whenever ephemeral things fade, break, or fall apart.

The first of these Great constants of Life is your dream or purpose in life. As long as you are alive, your ultimate purpose remains intact, even if you’ve not yet discovered it or started working towards its fulfilment.  Our purpose in life, which sometimes manifests through gifts, talents, and basic natural inclinations, is fixed and non-negotiable; and the pursuit of noble goals—not necessarily their attainment—is in itself a source of unspeakable joy. We should notice here, a conscious attempt to separate the pursuit of goals from its attainment. That is because, pursuit is both profound and sublime, but attainment is fleeting and uncertain. You can be sure, but not too sure, of getting to that expected end, but you can be sure of giving it a try, and there lies the joy and true fulfilment—in pursuing, on daily basis, a noble course.

Pursuing your goals or walking in the direction of your destiny is in itself a goal worth aiming at, for not many get to find their purpose or to move in that direction.  Your task therefore is to find your task—to find something what dying for, and then live for it. When the going gets tough and rough, remember your dreams, and revive your passion for life.  Be absorbed in your assignment in life so much that you will have no time to build castles in the air, or be overly attached to temporary things.  Let the force of your noble goals lift you above the petty disappointments of this life. Let the pursuit of your ultimate purpose keep you so occupied and excited that you will have little or no time for the countless shadows of life.

The second Great Constant of life is yourself—you, as a person: your personality, what makes you “you.” As long as you are alive, your inert personality remains intact. You may lose a loved one or some important job, but none of that inherently affects who you are. You only stop being you when you cease to exist, but as long as you are here, nothing, absolutely nothing can tamper with your personality; of course, you may be misguided, stigmatized, hurt, let-down or broken in some ways, but none of that alters your innermost personality. This realization should bring to you some sort of strength and relief: for as long as you are still here, as long as you are still who you are, you can still attain your God-ordained purpose, with or without anyone or anything folks constantly cling unto. Your task therefore is to build a formidable self-esteem, so powerful that nobody and nothing can pull it down. Treasure who and what you are and invest as much as you are able on your private development and improvement; this involves, among other things, taking time to nurture your spirit, body and soul, knowing that, unlike most things, these will abide long after every other thing has faded.

The third Great constant of life, and the greatest of all, is God. Without doubt, people’s notion of God vary. But in any case, one should believe in the existence of an all-powerful, everlasting, permanent creator, because such a belief is necessary for a fulfilling life; because there really is an all-powerful, everlasting creator, and we call Him God. There really is a great creator who sustains all things, the permanent one that changes everything—including change itself—without being changed, a father who is all knowing, all good, and whose thoughts for us are only that of peace. Imagine how much better your life would be if you incorporate this powerful realization into your daily life, knowing that, no matter what comes and goes out of your life, this great personality—God--remains, and that He still loves and cares for you. This is more than a philosophical idea or some religious truth. It is reality. You can never depend on God or draw strength from Him to face the variables of life, until you see Him as more than just an idea or the product of some Abrahamic religions, but as a real, tangible person. Instead of allowing sudden bleak events to pull us away from God, and from our belief in him—as we witness every now and then—our  trust in God, as the great unmoved mover, should set the platform for a proper appreciation and understanding of the ephemerality of things and the transience of life itself.  When faced with great difficulties or disappointments, we, like Job, should boldly declare, “I know my redeemer lives.” As long as God is still God—and He will be God forever—there is hope for better friends, better jobs, better relationships, better houses, better pets, better life; there is hope for better days.

The problem you are passing through at the moment is a temporary thing. It may appear permanent, even eternal at the moment, but it will pass away with time. That loss, that betrayal, that rejection, may seem like the entire world, but I tell you, it is nothing; it is nothing because it is only a loss of that which is temporary, that which is destined to end, anyway. Love is good; family is great; success is good;  fame can be thrilling; wealth is a good thing, and pursuing these things are on their own good and great. The problem sets in when we hold onto them as though they were eternal. The truth, however, remains that, we will never desist from clinging madly to temporary things until we discover and come to terms with the permanent things of life. We will keep wallowing in the seas of uncertainties until we discover and cleave fully to things that are truly tangible and permanent.